Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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