i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
