Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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