He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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