I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
one might say we're banned from that church
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Randomize
