he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I will pee on everything he values.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
