No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
