But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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