Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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