Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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