we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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