At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Holy shit dude........stairs
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
