We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Be still, my beating vagina.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
