Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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