Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize