why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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