Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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