I feel like abortions should bother me more
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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