i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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