whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
