dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
