I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
