you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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