you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
