Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
