I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
