Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
