She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
