I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
