who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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