you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
