she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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