She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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