i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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