Where is the hickey?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
