Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
