i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
