Porn is love you can see.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
