Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
