Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
