i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You're like the curious george of whores
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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