I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
