How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
