So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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