The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
