My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize