is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
