do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
