wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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