just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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