yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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