Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
