also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish they made helmets for livers.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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