Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
