I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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