I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
