I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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