i already hear my dad disowning me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just gargled with NyQuil
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
