kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
