i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
