were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
