They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
