We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
