Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
