I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
