I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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